When to hold your tongue.
It’s not always easy to decide when to say something and when to hold your tongue. We tend to be rather impulsive and often feel the need to respond right away when we feel we’ve been wronged, we feel we know better or we feel we need to set things straight. While speaking up in the moment may seem justified and the right thing to do in our mind, we may fail to consider how our words will be received by others and how that will then make us feel.
This is why it is so important to think before you speak. You can’t take back what’s been said, so consider the potential impact of your words before you express them.
Here are some situations where it would be wise to hold your tongue:
It really doesn’t impact your work or life – For instance, you see a relative a few times a year who is very unkind or inconsiderate. Saying something only creates unnecessary drama, which you then have to live with far longer than the few hours you spend with them. Hold your tongue, be cordial and move on with your life.
Someone constantly tells you their problems but never takes your advice – This person is not really looking for a solution. They just want to complain to you. Hold your tongue and stop investing your time in them. They will get the message quickly that you are a problem-solver and not a dumping ground.
It would dignify hurtful or spiteful rhetoric- If someone attacks you in a cutting way, a response only gives their words authority. Hold your tongue, ignore what they say and remain silent. You have a right to not engage.
Someone is overly emotional or out of control – If someone is too fired up to listen to what you have to say, hold your tongue. Instead, remain calm and let them get it out of their system. The calmer you are, the calmer they will become. Smother the fire with silence rather than fuel it with your differing point of view.
Somone is giving you feedback – If someone gives you constructive criticism, resist the need to defend yourself. Instead, hold your tongue and consider the validity of what’s being shared and how it can help you grow.
Practicing self-control and discipline in our speech eliminates rash and careless words that end up bringing more harm than good to any situation. The power of silence, although often forgotten, should never be underestimated in its ability to encourage productive behavior and bring us peace.