Vibes speak louder than words.

Have you ever been in a conversation with someone and felt like something was really off? Almost instantly, you begin to feel that you must have done something wrong. Did I say something wrong? Did I make a mistake? The old Kristen would have gone off and dwelled on this for hours, replaying every exchange with that person over the past week to pinpoint where I had gone wrong. That was until I learned to call out the vibe. That’s right- lay it out right there on the table for both parties to examine. “Tim, I sense something off about you. You seem aggravated, and it’s making me feel like I did something wrong. Is there something you want to tell me?”

You see, nine times out of ten, you will find that the negative energy you were sensing did not in fact have anything to do with you, but rather the person had something weighing on their mind that crossed over into the conversation with you.

Most people are unaware that their mood can be sensed by others or even cause others distress. You are actually doing them a favor by pointing it out. The first step to changing a behavior is for the person to recognize and acknowledge it. By saying something, you are helping to facilitate this process, and it only takes a few minutes of your time.

You can choose to simply call it out and leave the person to pick their vibe moving forward, or you can spend a few more minutes helping the person get to the root of their discontent, so they can move past it. We are all human beings, and sometimes simply verbalizing the issue to someone else provides enough relief to shift from negativity to positivity.

On the contrast, by not saying something, you not only absorb that negative energy, but you pass it around the office along with the person from whom it stemmed. Your stress levels peak, and now, your stressed-out mood is coloring everything around you and affecting everyone in your path. An invisible layer of gloom hoovers over the office and productivity begins to decline, people get irritable, and here’s the kicker- they take it home with them to their spouse, kids, friends, neighbors, pets…

Negativity is contagious, but so is positivity! So, choose your own vibe wisely and make others aware of theirs.