How to stop overthinking things.
When faced with a decision, we often overthink the situation to our own detriment. Instead of following our first instinct on the situation, we let our ego take over, pumping our system with self-critical thought patterns that we somehow believe despite them being wildly inaccurate and manifested by our fears. Then, unable to trust ourselves, we seek help from outside sources, who may not be in the best position to help us or may not even have our best interest at heart.
So how do we distinguish which thoughts come from our intuition and which come from our fears? The key lies in identifying our main types of negative thought patterns and calling them out. For instance, if “all-or-nothing thinking” is your poison, call out, “all-or-nothing,” as it streams through your mind and dispute it. If “jumping to the worst conclusion” is your poison, call out, “worst case thinking,” as it streams through your mind and dispute it.
Example Thought- “If I let my son play hockey, he’ll get hurt, and I will have ruined his entire life.”
“All or Nothing!” – There are other outcomes besides him getting majorly hurt or not getting hurt. He could have a minor injury and recover and play some more. He could decide he doesn’t like the sport and quit. He could develop a love for skating and become a speed skater. There are so many possibilities I couldn’t possibly name them all.
“Jumping to the worst conclusion!”- It is very unlikely that my son’s life will be impacted so severely by hockey that it will be ruined. Even if he does get injured, there are highly trained medical staff available to treat him quickly, and our medical facilities in the area are world-class. Restricting hockey based on a far-fetched outcome doesn’t make logical sense.
Example Thought: “As soon as I take this new job, my old job will take off, and I will have missed my only opportunity to hit it big.”
“All or Nothing!”- There are other outcomes besides my old job taking off or not taking off. What about, the job is eliminated, or it expands to include the work of a former co-worker that moved to another role? Numerous things could happen.
“Jumping to the worst conclusion!”- I need to trust myself. I wouldn’t have been even looking for another job had I felt the company would be bought out or go public in the near future. So, factoring that into whether or not I take this new job opportunity doesn’t make sense and is based more on the fear of missing out than reality.
“All or Nothing” or “Jumping to the worst conclusion” are the most common self-sabotaging thought patterns, but there are others like “catastrophic thinking,” “discounting the positive,” “always needing to be right,” “overgeneralization,” “double standard,” “should statements” and others. To learn more, simply research cognitive distortions and see what patterns resonate with you.
Naming and reframing your thoughts can make a world of difference when it comes to reigning in overthinking. You will find that once you begin practicing calling out negative thought patterns and disputing them, you’ll cancel out all the fear-driven noise in your head, so that your quieter inner voice can come through more clearly. You will begin to recognize this authentic voice, trust it and follow it. You will be okay without knowing everything because of this internal guidance. Decision-making will become much faster and easier, and life will become much more peaceful. Trust me, I know from experience!