Listen to understand.
When I was still in elementary school, my mother observed some conversations between me and my friends, and picked up on the fact that I wasn’t really listening to what my friends were saying. Instead, I would interrupt them, anxious to contribute my own points to the conversation.
At the time, I remember feeling a bit defensive when she pointed this out and taught me about active listening, but later, I appreciated what a great life lesson it was. I learned how important it is to listen to understand rather than listen to reply or to steer the conversation for my benefit.
Throughout my career, the majority of disconnects I’ve witnessed have been the result of poor listening, resulting in miscommunication.
To resolve this, I’ve taught teams to practice active listening, using the steps below:
Give your sole attention to the person speaking (ignore distractions- watches, phones, people gesturing to you outside your office, etc.).
Pay attention to the speaker’s non-verbal cues.
Form your own interpretation of what the person is saying (not what you want to say back to them) and withhold judgement.
Request clarification if needed.
Summarize in your own words what you heard them say to affirm that you understood their intended meaning correctly.
Example:
Lynn (Hiring Manager): I don’t think our problem is a lack of people to do the work. I think we need more computational power to crunch the data faster.
Sarah (HR Manager): So, what I hear you saying is that we don’t need to open a job requisition for a new analyst, but rather invest in more hardware and software to address the productivity gap.
Lynn (Hiring Manager): Yes, that is exactly what I am recommending.
When your team begins to actively listen, you will see amazing things happen. Relationships strengthen, trust grows, progress and productivity increase, and drama and emotional turmoil decrease, saving time, money and unnecessary aggravation.
Give it a try, and let me know what you think.